"We’re a hot mess."

(via pxtewentz)

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

smoochlock:

so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and

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i’m fucking crying 

it says ‘no.’

it literally says NO.

oh my god

(via laifing)

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

(via diinoi)

suojure:

malijuanastyles:

i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole

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(via laifing)

geisha-kai:

Baikasai 2014: maiko Katsune by @sakuran0816 on Instagram

Details of her amazing kimono and plum blossom kanzashi

(via shadeofseason)

suzuharatoji:

please look at this picture of michelle obama and sportacus

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(via soggy-bottom)

nosdrinker:

codeinewarrior:

girls just wanna have f

ood poisoning

(via beers-lord)